A while back I read a piece comparing drug dealers and software developers, and it stuck with me. The format was too good not to borrow, so here's my version for the world we actually spend our days in: social networks. The more time I spend on them, the more they look like high school with better Wi-Fi.

The twelve

  1. Popularity contests. Prom King and Queen became follower and friend counts.
  2. Status-seeking. Befriending the cool kids became adding the A-list personalities.
  3. Passing notes. Notes shoved in a locker became comments on a profile.
  4. Finding your people. School clubs became meetups and niche communities.
  5. Learning for a reason. Taking a language class became learning to code so you can build the app.
  6. Publishing. The school newspaper became blogs and social posts.
  7. Technical cred. The AV Club became the people who actually know the tools.
  8. Consequences. Getting expelled became getting your account banned.
  9. Showing off. The new gadget in the hallway became the beta invite in your feed.
  10. Privileged access. Whatever your parents would buy you became the alpha invite.
  11. Mischief. Toilet-papering a house became a denial-of-service attack.
  12. Making it big. Dating the prom royalty became getting acquired by one of the big tech companies.

Over time, a lot of these comparisons have only gotten more true.